


Pretty Broken Things

by dearxalchemist



Series: Scratching the Surface [2]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Emotional Sex, Established Relationship, F/M, Intimacy, Miscarriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-08-19 01:07:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8182984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dearxalchemist/pseuds/dearxalchemist
Summary: He runs Amestris without her, though the pressure and stress is worse than ever. Without her advisings, the world feels heavy and unjust, like a puzzle with no correct pieces. Roy’s head can’t wrap around the loss, he feels a piece of him is buried in the ground alongside Riza’s hope. They go on like this for another six weeks. Dodging glances and fleeting touches, she kisses his cheek before work and once again before bed, everything is light and delicate. The air around them is frail and he’s worried with one wrong snap of his fingers he will burn what little good he has left in the world. 
Roy gives her space.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [neckwear](https://archiveofourown.org/users/neckwear/gifts).



Six weeks in, she wakes him in the middle of the night with a soft cry. 

He carries her to the car, arm under her legs and her head in his chest. 

The hospital is stark white and sterile, coated in the scent of disinfectant and death.

Roy squeezes her hand when they take her away, leading her down a white hallway where he’s not allowed. He can only see the shock of red spilling onto the cart and his heart stops, fear takes over, and there’s nothing he can do. He wishes for rain but the night stays crystal clear. They won’t let him see her for the rest of the evening. He keeps a strong facade up for her while she stays alone in the hospital. It’s the first time they’re apart since their wedding day. The doctors come to tell him that the loss is stress related. The stress from the hectic life of Amestris’ first lady. When he presses more questions, they tell him she’s overworked. A life in the spotlight is difficult on the body. The stress of his job caused the first rift in their new life together. 

Roy blames himself. 

When the following morning rolls around, she seems paler with dark circles under her brown eyes. Her hair is matted down against the thin hospital pillow and when he reaches for her, she pulls her hand away. 

The funeral takes place a week later. It’s small and private, and even Fullmetal joins them for the afternoon. Edward stays civil with him. Winry clings to Riza’s side, hands clasped against her own. It’s an afternoon of quiet apologies and well wishes, not to mention the cloying scent of fresh flowers that she comes to hate long after their friends leave. Riza stands graveside until her heels sink into the Earth and Roy finally leads her away with a hand on the small of her back. She inches away from his touch and doesn’t look at him when she climbs in the backseat, head on the window and tears stinging in her eyes.

They don’t try again for a while.

\----

Weeks later he leaves for Creta, returns home to her back to him in the sheets. She’s wrapped up in the thousand count threads and his old academy shirt. Even when he slides into bed next to her, she shies away from him with a sleepy sigh. Roy attempts to slide a hand over her side and she slips away once again from him. 

The next morning they take flowers to the grave and Riza reaches for his hand. His fingers tangle with hers briefly before his subordinate calls across the greenery, calling him back to work where he has to let go of her hand. 

Per doctors orders, Riza takes a step back from the spotlight. 

He runs Amestris without her, though the pressure and stress is worse than ever. Without her advising, the world feels heavy and unjust, like a puzzle with no correct pieces. Roy’s head can’t wrap around the loss, he feels a piece of him is buried in the ground alongside Riza’s hope.

They go on like this for another six weeks. Dodging glances and fleeting touches, she kisses his cheek before work and once again before bed, everything is light and delicate. The air around them is frail and he’s worried with one wrong snap of his fingers he will burn what little good he has left in the world. 

Roy gives her space.

Riza attempts to work with him again and it turns into an argument. He doesn’t want her stressed, so he takes it all for the both of them, shutting her out of his office -- cutting her off from the professional side of their relationship. 

He attempts to apologize in simple ways. No more flowers, no more visits to the cemetery. He starts small and slow, asking her for help with small charity events, asking for her to look over budget sheets -- nothing stress worthy. 

Eventually she comes around and in the dead of night puts her head on his chest. 

The tears sink into his night shirt and he strokes her hair until she falls asleep. Her hands curl around him and he enjoys the cool touch of her body on his. He’s missed his wife and the weight of her on him. Roy settles into the bed and soaks in the intimacy between them before he falls asleep, waking to find her tangled in him like their wedding night. 

 

\---- 

 

“Roy, it’s past midnight.” 

She lingers in the doorway of his home office, shoulder pressed into the door jamb with her hair braided over her shoulder. She’s wearing his old shirt again and not much else. He drags his attention up from the stack of paperwork in front of him, his pen scratching along the last line over his embossed stamp of Amestris. They haven’t had much time together in the last few weeks. He doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know how to stop the tears that spring every time she lays her head over his chest. She draws forward and he slowly stacks the last few pages of his treaty, putting it aside as her hands settle on the end of his desk. Her plain wedding ring reflects the little bit of lamp light he has on in the office.

“I’m almost done.” He murmurs softly, watching her yawn as he stretches his own hand up and pats the top of hers. It’s a small comforting gesture, all he really has to offer her. He can’t give her what she wants, the doctors don’t have an explanation which leaves him useless. He is useless in a downpour and now, useless in the comfort of his home. Riza’s hand turns under his and she gently places her fingers with his own, squeezing softly before shaking her head. He knows not to argue with her now, not when her lips curve down into a soft frown, “But it can wait.”

Her small frown fades and he stands, raking his hands through his hair and over his face, pushing away the exhaustion of his job. Roy follows her to their room, he stretches his hand in the darkness of the hall, folds his fingers on her hip drawing her back a step. He pulls her back a few steps and moves his other hand up up to her jaw. Her lips graze his and she sighs softly as he kisses her. It’s a gentle and sleepy kiss, with his hand smoothing down the column of her throat before she pulls back and ducks her head away. She covers his hand on her hip and yanks him towards the bedroom. 

“Riza,” He breathes softly watching her dark silhouette leading him into certain damnation. His shirt on her body is long and should be shapeless but Riza has curves that he doesn’t. She fills out the shirt much better than he ever could. He watches as she stretches, exposing her short underwear and pale thighs before she turns to face him, sitting back on the edge of the bed. He wants to crawl to her, wants to press kisses to the tops of her knees and worship her body, but something stops him. 

The image of her with flushed cheeks and trembling knees stops him. The sight of blood slipping down her legs and tears trailing over her cheeks is what stops him dead in the doorway. She cried so much this last time with her hand clenching over her belly, gripping at the ruined sheets around her.

“Roy?” She says his name; once, twice, three times. “Roy, come here.” 

Her calloused hand is outstretched towards him and he waits for a moment, before pushing himself off of the door and takes a cautious step. “Riza, we shouldn’t.” 

He stops and she shakes her head, “Come to bed Roy.” Her voice is soft, quiet, almost needy. She sounds breathless and stressed, all wound up and he feels guilt well up in his stomach. 

“This isn’t a good idea,” He sighs and his shoulders sag as she stands, padding her way towards him. Her bare feet scuff against the thick carpet and she stretches her hand out, grasping onto the front of his white dress shirt.

“Roy,” She shakes her head and he hooks a hand to the back of her neck, drawing her in a little closer to him. His scorched fingers pull her in and he leans down, forehead bumping against hers gently. He watches her lower her lashes, lips turning down into another frown, waiting on him to reject her. Something in his chest twists with a dull ache and he can’t stand to see her so disappointed in him. For years Riza had his back, she pushed him up the ladder. She stood behind him every step of the way, he kept her safe and she kept him safer. In the throws of battle she had his back while he kept her safe. He owes everything to her and that much more, not to mention the thousands of ways she makes his heart skip beats. For years he’s loved her and now that he has the chance, he is unsteady and waivers. 

Riza drags him back to reality, her hands are calloused and quick, working on the buttons of his shirt. She pushes it over his shoulders and he thinks about stopping her but he doesn’t want to. He simply lets his arms drop and she splays a hand over his chest, fingers drumming along his skin for a moment before he snags her hand. Roy draws her fingers to his lips and kisses them softly, “We don’t have to do this.” 

He mouths the words over her calloused fingers as she pulls on him gently, “I want to do this.” What she doesn’t add is that the doctors have been telling her for weeks that it’s okay to try again. Roy has scaled back her workload, cutting conferences out of his schedule and traveling less and less since Creta. He’s been extra gentle with her, treating her like glass. 

Roy follows her pulling and he wraps an arm around her middle, dragging her up against him. She kisses the corner of his mouth and he gives into her. He turns his head over and presses his lips along hers and he gives into what she wants, what she needs. The kiss spurs her on. She presses her palms to his stomach and down to the edge of his belt, leading him back into the plush bedroom. She walks him until the backs of his knees hit the mattress. She gently pushes him down, breaking the kiss and lingering over him like a conqueror on uncharted land. 

Roy sucks in a sharp breath, watching as she slides a knee on either side of his own. The academy shirt slips up her thighs, exposing long legs as she settles on his lap. The warmth of her seeps into his slacks and a soft groan leaves his lips as she settles down, hips pressing into his own. Despite their last trip to the hospital lingering in the back of his thoughts, he grasps at her thighs, scorched fingers leaving imprints against the soft flesh. He massages the skin there, molding his palms over the curve of her legs and around, palming her ass through the thin panties. He pulls her in even closer and she grinds down into his lap, her hand coming up and grasping at his chin.

Riza holds him still and steady, pressing her lips to his with a searing kiss. She takes control of him, putting a hand on his chest and pushing him back. She pushes him down, keeping up the kiss as her hand drops from his chin to his chest. It’s there she draws her short nails over his skin and leaves red trails to the edge of his hips. Hips that he archers up to her touch and falls into her inevitable touch. The mattress is cool against his back, reminding him that a few weeks ago he woke to the sound of her crying.   
“Riza,” His voice is lost in the darkness of the room, soft and broken. He moves his hands up and grasps softly onto her shoulders, pulling her hands away from his hips, “We don’t have to do this.” 

He draws his fingers down her arms, curling them over her elbows where he lifts her up just enough, drawing her down for a soft kiss. Her lips ghost along his own and he feels her frown against his mouth. He hates to see her frown, hates to feel her unease lingering the air. She exhales and her muscles fall on him, slack and heavy just before a soft sob leaves her lips. 

“Roy,” She says his name softly, burying her face in the crook of his neck just to press a kiss to his pulse point. He sighs and she draws her hands down his chest, every move tantalizing and burning embers into his skin.

He buries a hand in her golden hair, “We don’t have to do this, we don’t have to do any of this.” 

She turns her head up and even in the dark, he can see her brows settling down, “I want this…” 

He reaches a hand up, cupping her face in his palm and spearing his fingers into her hair where he pulls it away from her shoulders, gently letting it run through his fingers. Riza sighs into his touch and turns her head down, looking up at him through thick lashes, “We can have this and be happy.” Riza is almost pleading with him, one of her hands moving up and covering his own.

“What if it happens again?” He finds his own fear there, laying it out for her to digest. The incident is fresh in his mind, the smell of the funeral flowers still haunting him. 

Her hand tightens over his and she swallows down what he suspects is a sob as her bottom lip trembles and she grips at him a little tighter. Her knuckles turn white, “What if it doesn’t? Then what? We go on pretending that everything is alright with us? You won’t even look at me anymore.” 

Her voice cracks and makes it feel like a knife is twisting in his chest. 

“I do,” He whispers quietly, dark eyes meeting her own as he tightens his hand along the base of her head, “I do look at you and I reach but you never reach me.” 

“How could I?” She drops her hand from his and hits the mattress hard enough for the springs to squeak. “How could I when you wouldn’t let me work with you anymore?”

“The doctors…” He sighs, tired of having the same argument with her over and over, tired of apologizing for his promotion. 

“The doctor has cleared me. Cleared both of us, Roy, are we really going to lose like this?” She asks softly, leaning down, exhaling out the tension in her muscles. He feels her shake and then she rolls off of him, her back pressing down on the cool sheets. 

“Lose?” He questions her, turning on his side to look at her. She’s staring up at the dark ceiling with her hands folding over her flat stomach, fingers digging into his academic shirt and pulling at the old fabric. 

“Lose, we’re going to lose everything we worked for. All those years were for nothing.” 

He reaches for her and she rolls onto her side away from him. Roy frowns at her back, fingers slipping over the edge of her hip. He presses his palm there and gently pulls on her, rolling her back, her shoulder brushing his chest, “No, this was not all for nothing. I just can’t lose you again.” 

For weeks he lost her to grief. She stopped smiling. She stopped humming while stirring the one teaspoon of sugar into her morning coffee and she stopped looking at him like he hung the sun just for her. He lost her and he can’t do it again. Watching her unravel was messier than any war. 

Riza turns to face him, “Do you not love me anymore?” 

He leans down and without warning he pushes his lips along hers in a slow burning kiss. His lips press over hers and his hand fans out along her waist, spreading his palm over the flat of her stomach and pulls the edges of her shirt up. He bunches the fabric, feeling her sigh against him as his as he breaks the kiss, pressing his forehead down over her own, “Don’t ever ask me that.” His lips graze hers as he speaks in a soft whisper, “I love you, stubborn woman. I love you, but I never want to lose you again, not like that.” 

Not like that -- not like the way he lost her at that funeral service with her heels deep in the mud and the fire in her eyes burning out. He watches her smile in the dark and slow and careful, and he leans in once more for another kiss. His lips burn over hers and she hums softly as her hips kant up against his fingers slipping under the shirt she’s wearing. He drags the fabric up and then slips a hand down the front of her cotton panties. Another moan leaves her and he takes the chance to slide his tongue over her bottom lip. 

Roy takes his time, he eases over her with his hand pressing between her thighs. His fingers pressing over the damp patch of fabric, listening to the changing in her breathing as she spreads her legs a little wider, resisting the urge to clamp her thighs around him. He draws his fingers back and forth over the front of her panties before he pushes the fabric aside and it’s here he makes her break the kiss with a sharp cry. He slides a finger inside, relishing in the hot feel of her tightening around him. Riza buries her face in his shoulder, biting at the soft skin at the juncture of his collarbone and shoulder. She sucks at the skin there, leaving a mark that would make others blush and look away. The attention makes him groan, eyes rolling back just as he pushes a second finger in. Riza’s hands slip down his stomach where she gets back to his slacks and she fumbles with the button as he crooks his fingers. 

Her lips part with a moan and he smirks at the way she responds to his attention, loving the way her body remembers him. He doesn’t get a chance to gloat for long, she has his slacks open and she’s palming his cock before he can draw together a coherent thought. Electricity races across his skin and before he can stop her, she’s rolling over him. He slips his fingers from her and she presses her hips over his, pinning him into the mattress. He could turn them if he wanted, but she looks too good above him, powerful, and beautiful. Her palms are on his chest and she grinds down over his cock, he can feel the heat of her through the black panties and it makes him groan. Roy draws his hand up and traces the outline of her plush lip. Riza’s lips part and she drags her tongue over his index finger, tasting herself on his skin. 

“God,” He groans out the word, rocking his hips up against hers, desperate to remember the feel of her on him. She takes his second finger in his mouth and he sucks in a sharp breath as his free hand slides down and he pulls the thin cotton down her thighs, watching the fabric cut into the soft flesh there. She raises her hips just enough and he gets them down far enough forget them as she lets his fingers fall from her lips, warm and wet before he pulls the academy shirt off of her, exposing her pale flesh to the dark room. She is slender and yet soft, with muscles from years of work in the military and he traces every line and scar with scorched fingers. He slips a palm over her breast, listening to her soft gasp. Roy pinches the hard nipple there just to watch her pink lips part as she settles down over him. Riza reaches down between them and wraps her fingers around his cock, softly stroking him up and dragging the head of his cock over her wet thighs. 

“Don’t tease,” He sounds desperate under her and moves his hands down to her hips, fanning his fingers out over her flesh. He leaves impressions of his fingers in her skin, drawing her down, begging for her to keep going.

“I’ve missed you,” She says softly and he nods, hands slipping over her thighs. 

“I won’t leave again, not without you.” He nods his dark head against the mattress and then she’s sliding down over him. He moans at the feel of her and resists the urge to thrust up. He lets her take her time, slowly sliding down to take in every last inch of him. He feels like he’s going to fall apart under her. His heart is racing and his nerves are all on edge with the sensation of embers racing along his flesh. She arches her back and resembles a work of art, with her head thrown back and her hips rocking down over his. Sweat slips over her skin and she looks like she is bathing in darkness dipped in moonlight; she is the moon and he wants to worship and chase her like the sun. 

Riza fits against him like they were made for one another. Her hips slide home into his and he rocks up to meet her, thrust for thrust. They build up a rhythm where her breathing becomes ragged and her skin pricks with excitement. He urges her on, hands tight on her hips, slipping down to her thighs where he digs his fingers into the meat of her. She gasps and he draws a hand up, calloused thumb pressing over her clit. He presses over the sensitive nub, circling before being cruel and leaving her gasping. Roy circles her with his hands, his wrists pressing into the back of her thighs where he pulls her down and digs his heels into the mattress where he drives up into her. Her arms shake, elbows give in and she collapses against his chest, moaning out a broken version of his name. The sound of skin slapping skin fills the expensive bedroom. Her name leaves him like a prayer and he worships her with misplaced kisses and bites, nipping at her shoulders, digging his fingers into the soft flesh of her ass. He bruises her skin and she pays him back in kind. Her teeth are sharp against his neck and her hips bruise his own. She rocks down into him with a fever taking over, skin flushed a pretty shade of pink. 

Her lips graze his and he draws his hands down her rear, fingers skating over her clit once more. Riza’s thighs quiver and he knows she’s close by the way his name leaves her. She is a stuttering mess, golden hair and pink lips. Riza is a goddess above him, willing him to eternity with a siren’s song and when she shouts his name he follows.

She falls over the edge and he loses himself like a reckless highschool boy, spilling into her with no thought of stopping. Heat sinks between them and she sags down, muscles sore and worn. He lets her collapse on him, her cheek on his heaving chest. Roy doesn’t pull out of her, he doesn’t want to break the closeness they finally have after so many weeks of silence.

He strokes his fingers down her spine, curls his arms around her and tightens his grip. 

“Don’t stop,” She breathes against his chest quietly, “Don’t stop loving me if I can’t do this, if I can’t start our family. I killed so many in Ishval, so many children gone from the world now. What if I broke myself?” 

“You’re not broken Riza,” He kisses the crown of her golden head, “We just were unfortunate.” He is careful with his words, lips moving over her hair as she sighs softly. He keeps stroking up along her spine back and forth in soothing motions. “I could never stop loving you.” 

It is the raw truth leaving his lips, he could never stop loving the woman above him. He could never turn his back on her, never leave her in harms way again. With a quiet sigh he draws his hands over her as her breathing evens out, “I couldn’t stop if I wanted.” He smiles a charming, boyish smile in the darkness of the room and he knows she’s falling victim to sleep against him in the afterglow of their love. With careful hands he draws her up and lets her roll over, arm slung over his waist just before he curls around her and they sleep together for the first time in weeks.

**Author's Note:**

> Yikes that made me cry. All mistakes are my own, I did this all for Em, who was super supportive and I adore her.


End file.
